I Love Meditation. I'm sure that all of us who practice it do. Anyone, from any path that practices it, knows that it is immensely important to what they are trying to accomplish. 

I just wanted to start this discussion group, as a platform for people to be able to ask questions and offer personal advice. I don't mind answers that include things which people have read ABOUT meditation, but I truly prefer guidance which springs from the founts of real, personal experience. We all plunge deeply into the realms of the Inner Being, as deeply as we can. And perhaps we might offer some guidance to one another, for whatever it is worth. Meditation is a personal experience, no doubt. But there are enough semi-shared stages/experiences within it, that adepts of all ages have tried to guide and share these steps with each other.

So allow me to start with a question or two. I close my eyes, and the first thing I see is darkness. As I breath steadily, perhaps intoning some vowel sounds, my mind turns inward. I plunge into the waters of restless thought and emotion, and see that though the body sits still, the mind is Chaos. So I begin. I begin to intuitively swim my way through these waters. The only problem is, THEY NEVER SEEM TO END. A few times, if my stamina is strong, I have lasted, consciously, until that point where the waters calm, and the ripples of my mind become smoothed out into a still, reflective pool. But this is hard to attain. It takes me a certain amount of time and consistency to get to this point, if I even successfully get there. Unfortunately, most of the time when I'm meditating, I reach a point of what I can only describe as "drowning." The restless thoughts come and go. I try to calm my mind as I swim through them all. But as I swim this marathon, my strength fails, my consciousness dissipates, NOT UP, INTO COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS, but down, drowning into the unconscious. Perhaps I'm wrong, but, is this desirable? Isn't the goal to CONSCIOUSLY enter the higher realms?

I don't know. Sometimes I've "drowned" so to speak, and then at some point in my meditation, I "wake up," finding my mind in a very CLEAR state. In this state, there are no restless thoughts, and I can basically focus, meditate, and visualize things with MUCH more ease. So this confuses me. I would like to reach this state CONSCIOUSLY, without having to let go and drown in the mind.

Then again...then again, something about walking into the Silence...drowning in the Abyss to be raised by what lies beyond...maybe it's just part of the process? When we study Alchemy and apply it to meditation, it all seems so controlled, like the Alchemist should always be in control of what he's doing. But maybe there are those times when he's absolutely at the mercy of the Fire outside his vessel, and the Hand of some Greater Alchemist who is transmuting him?

Anyway, food for thought. Love, my Fratres and Sorores.

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